In addition to bipolar disorder, I also have severe anxiety. Life can be miserable. The anxiety once became so bad that I had to go to an emergency room. I had a nervous breakdown. The psychiatrists tell me that the bipolar disorder is a problem with the chemistry in my brain. The anxiety seems to be more of an environmental problem, although my doctor treats it with medication too.
Anxiety to me is tremendous fear, fear of almost anything. It seemed to appear about the same time as the bipolar disorder. I have a theory of how it got this bad.
Namely, the staff at Las Vegas Mental Health literally tortured me. I have flashes of memories of being assaulted by psychiatric technicians there. I once woke up naked in the shower as a psychiatric technician yelled, "Wipe your butt!" while beating me.
Another time at LVMH, I woke up as an army of psychiatric technicians pummeled me with their fists. Then they locked me away in the restraint room. I have no idea why that happened. Unfortunately, treatment in mental hospitals is still in the dark ages.
As a result of the beatings I received at LVMH, I have tremendous fear of almost anything. Just sitting around makes me wonder what is lurking around the corner waiting to hurt me. What disasters will befall me this time?
It isn't always that bad. When I'm very busy I have no time to have anxiety like when I do have a job. With that, I'll end this post. The more I write about anxiety, the more I draw attention to it.
About Me
- Chicknlil
- I like to write fiction. I wrote a full-length novel years ago, which is unpublished. I have been writing short stories since high school, one of which was published in a literary magazine. Science is my life. I have a bachelor's degree in physics from the University of California at Berkeley. Also, I have studied physics at the Ph.D. level at Harvard University, Duke University, and the University of California at San Diego.
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