Jobs

I'm going off topic for a while, but to a related topic--jobs. I have held only one so-called "real" job in my life, that as a software engineer. As a software engineer, I worked full-time, 8 am - 5 pm, Monday - Friday. I had a good salary and a complete benefits package including health insurance and a retirement plan.

I took this job for two reasons: I did not enjoy graduate school and most of all my entire extended family was pressuring me to get a "real" job. It took me half a year to get hired by my company after a painful job search. I was happy, but it seemed my family was doing cartwheels over my new job.

"He finally got a job!!!" they shouted in unison. "No more stupid graduate schools!!!"

I'll admit that working full-time was the most stable I ever was with bipolar disorder. Life was very predictable. I only had a disorder related absence for one week the entire time I worked as an engineer. Other than that, life seemed pretty normal. I could tell people I met, such as at a wedding I attended in 2000, that I worked as a software engineer for a living. Contrast that to now where I can't tell people I'm disabled (mentally). Things were good for the most part.

Yet, software engineering was not my intention for my life's work. I had always wanted to pursue science as a career. When I was a boy, I'd conduct all kinds of scientific experiments at home. Eventually I went back to graduate school; I reasoned that if I were to program computers all day long, then I might as well do it in a scientific environment.

I managed to find a research advisor who used computers extensively in his astrophysics research. Still, grad school did not work out for me again, and I ended up leaving again shortly after 9/11. In fact, I interviewed with Fox Network two days after the attack on America. My interview committee saw that I had attended Harvard University on my resume. Essentially, they accused me of being a liar. If I attended Harvard, why did I not put my GPA on my resume?

The answer is simple. I am one of the few people who managed to get admitted to Harvard University Graduate School of Arts and Sciences on less than a 4.0 GPA. I proved that it can be done. Yet, my GPA at Harvard, Duke, and UCSD were not something to be proud of, so I left them off my resume. Nevertheless, I never landed the job with Fox Network.

Without any income, I had to move to Las Vegas with my parents at age 30. My plan was simple--use the Internet to find jobs anywhere in the United States. I hoped to find work as an engineer or physical scientist. I didn't plan to stay in Vegas forever. I did apply for some software engineer jobs in Vegas, but ultimately the companies didn't hire me.

Several employers did call me for "pre-interview" interviews, such as NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. These pre-interview interviews were basically reconnaissance missions to determine whether to grant me a full-interview. Still, no employer hired me.

Once, the University of San Diego High School (USDHS) invited me to interview as a physics teacher. I took the bus from Vegas to San Diego and wore my suit. The principal didn't ask me any questions and instead took me on a tour of campus. Then he sent me on my way, no questions asked. When I returned to Las Vegas, my rejection letter for USDHS was already waiting for me.

I guess that the principal already knew whom he wanted as his physics teacher, but he needed by law to advertise the position. I kept using job search websites at the time, and I now question their effectiveness.

After my suicide attempt, I was not functional for years and I halted my job search. I kept getting hospitalized about 3 times a year for 2 or 3 years. I couldn't find a way to break the cycle.

Then around 2003, I decided to apply for graduate school again, but this time in mathematics. I landed a part-time job as a tutor of mathematics and physics at the Community College of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas in the summer. By the end of the summer, the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) admitted me to the M.S. program in mathematics. UNLV hired me to teach mathematics as a graduate assistant.

Soon, my disorder reared its ugly head and I ended up at back at LVMH. My psychiatrist told me to withdraw from UNLV, which I did. By this time, I was going in and out of LVMH in a cycle. I couldn't figure out how to break the cycle of hospitalization and discharge.

Over the next few years, I returned to the community college 3 more times as a tutor. Still, I couldn't make a living as a part-time tutor so I continued searching for full-time work. After another hospitalization, a psychiatric technician suggested I pursue a career as a teacher.

My family planned to move back to California around 2004, and I looked into a career in education in California. I applied to two universities in California for teacher credentialing programs. The application process was extremely complex, including the background check. I withdrew my application from one university due to a dispute over my records, and the second one outright rejected me for my incomplete application.

I tried getting a job through California's Department of Rehabilitation (DOR). They seemed more interested in making me fill out paperwork than in finding work. Before they could help me find work, my family moved back to Nevada.

Back in Las Vegas, I applied for the teacher licensing program with the county school district. The school district rejected me on the first try. Later, they would call me to participate in the program. The pattern is I just wandered aimlessly from one job application to another, interview to inteview. Then I'd try to go back to graduate school in physics or electrical engineering, not being able to go for financial reasons or for getting rejected.

Around 2006, I landed a job as a tutor again at the College of Southern Nevada. I continued my pattern of using the Internet to look for full-time employment. For about a year, nobody would interview me. Eventually, I applied for a job as a forensic scientist with Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department (LVMPD). I studied hard for the examinations, ultimately passing all but one. LVMPD still would not hire anyone that didn't pass all the pre-employment examinations. Once again, no job.

I briefly studied for a teaching license with the school district, but I found a physical medical problem that prevented me from becoming a teacher of physics. I withdrew from the program, but in hindsight I should have consulted my doctor to correct the medical issue.

Finally in 2007, I just plugged away at the Internet looking for jobs anywhere in the U.S. For many additional months I looked for work, even work at a casino and at a shopping mall. Nobody would hire me, even the casino or the stores in the mall. Eventually, two employers, a nuclear power plant in California and the US Patent and Trademark Office in Virginia invited me for interviews at the same time. I chose to interview with the USPTO since they didn't have any pre-employment testing like the nuclear power plant did.

I flew to Washington, DC in late summer of 2007, and borrowed over $1,000 for my trip. I toured the National Mall, and interviewed with the USPTO in Alexandria, Virginia. Still, the USPTO didn't hire me. Only my tour of Washington, DC made the expensive trip worthwhile.

So there it is. Since leaving graduate school shortly after 9/11 until the present, I have been unable to land any kind of full-time employment. Interviews are rare, and offers of employment are nonexistent. The disorder plays a large part of my inability to find work. Sometimes, I just want to quit looking for work and live off of Social Security, but that's unrealistic. When my parents die, I'll probably have to live in a group home or on the streets.